Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
