this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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