So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
