It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
