Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im six kinds of drunk right now
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
