You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
