I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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