Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
