it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
