Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Send help, water and tortillas.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
