i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
