A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
