don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
