I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The feeling are messing with the penis
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
