Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
