I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
