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i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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