I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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