Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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