I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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