she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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