He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
