k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
