I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
