At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She announced her abortion via fbk
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
