i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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