Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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