your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
