Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
