I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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