why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
