I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
