i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
