i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
