you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
