she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
