Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
