Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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