you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
