So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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