If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
