things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
