Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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