this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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