he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
