dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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