Duck Duck Cougar?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
