i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
