No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
