i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
